By Adam Bertocci
What if…William Shakespeare had written The large Lebowski?
The Dude has met the Bard—and he doth abide.
Join “The Knave” and Sir Walter on a wild story of flawed identification, kidnapping, bowling, and a rug that, in religion, fairly tied the room together—in a sidesplitting Shakespearean comedy of mistakes and ninepins, instructed in 5 wonderful acts of iambic pentameter and impeccable interval prose.
Already a theatrical hit and a global viral phenomenon, Two gents of Lebowski comes alive anew during this definitive and lavishly illustrated version, that includes lately chanced on old engravings, scholarly annotations, and a revelatory afterword from the writer.
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Additional info for Two Gentlemen of Lebowski: A Most Excellent Comedie and Tragical Romance
For Richard and Danielle Bertocci, from their little achiever The people of the Play refrain GEOFFREY ‘THE KNAVE’ LEBOWSKI BLANCHE WOO thugs SIR WALTER of Poland SIR DONALD of Greece BRANDT, serving-man of the massive Lebowski SIR GEOFFREY OF LEBOWSKI, the massive Lebowski BONNIE, spouse to the large Lebowski OLIVER, consort to Bonnie JACK SMOKE, a cavalier JOSHUA QUINCE, a paederast LIAM O’BRIEN, accomplice of Joshua Quince MAUDE, daughter of the large Lebowski VARLETS, hired through Maude NIHILISTS participant QUEEN MISTRESS speedy, hostess of a tavern KNOX HARRINGTON, a tapestry artist medical professional BUTTS, a doctor gamers for a dance LAURENCE CLOWN JAQUES TREEHORN BROTHER SEAMUS, an Irish monk GRAVEDIGGER gents OF LEBOWSKI ACT 1 reasonable Albion. PROLOGUE input refrain. refrain In wayfarer’s worlds out west used to be a guy, a guy I come to not bury, yet to compliment. His identify used to be Geoffrey Lebowski call’d, but now not referred to as, excepting via his relatives. That which we name a knave by way of the other identify may well bowl simply as candy. Lebowski, then, Did name himself ‘the Knave’, a reputation that I, Your humble refrain, wouldn't self-apply In homelands mine; yet, then, this Knave was once one From whom experience was once a burden to extract, And of the arid vale during which he dwelt, additionally dislike in sensibility; Mayhap the very look for experience finds the explanation it conjures up me to odes. (In couplets first, after which a sonnet courageous As prologue to the story of this the Knave. Behold him, then, a-tumbling smooth in sand To pledge his love immortal to the land. ) We stray now from reasonable Albion and from France and notice no Queen of bawdy songs and cheers And in an angel’s urban take our likelihood For stupefying stories to take our ears. To conflict on Arab kings acoast we pass, desiring a guy of instances, even though hero now not; listen me name him no longer hero; what’s in a hero? occasionally there’s a guy, your prologue’s concept. The Knave, although scarcely guy of honour’d grace, Nor god Olympian, nor but employ’d, was once still for all his time and position, the fellow befits the circle he’s enjoy’d. a guy of lazy methods, of epic sloth; yet, wasting educate of idea, I’ve spake sufficient! Exits. A theatre. ACT 1 SCENE 1 THE KNAVE’s condo. input THE KNAVE, wearing parcels, and BLANCHE and WOO. they try. BLANCHE Whither the cash, Lebowski? religion, we're as servants to Bonnie; promised by means of the girl reliable that thou in flip have been stable for’t. WOO sure in honour, we should have our bond; cursed be our tribe if we forgive thee. BLANCHE allow us to soak him within the chamber-pot, as a way to flip his head. WOO Aye, and notice what vapourises; then he'll see what's foul. They insert his head into the chamber-pot. A chamber-pot. BLANCHE What dreadful noise of waters in thine ears! Thou hast cool’d thy head; imagine now upon drier concerns. WOO communicate now on ducats else back we’ll thee duckest; whither the money, Lebowski? THE KNAVE religion, it awaits down there somewhere; prithee enable me glimpse back. WOO What, thou rash egg!